“For there is hope for a tree when it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and its shoots will not fail. Though its roots grow old in the ground and its stump dies in the dry soil, at the scent of water it will flourish and put forth sprigs like a plant.”
Maybe you think that life has cut you down like that tree. Possibly you feel like you are dying and withering away as a single parent. I am here to say to you today, “Don’t give up, don’t quit. One moment in the presence of God and one drop of His living water will change your life forever.” When you put your hope in Jesus, you will flourish as a single parent. He will help you live a life of purpose and meaning, focus, order, balance, and harmony.
Single parenting may seem hard. It’s non-stop and often goes unappreciated. It seems like we are stuck in this weird place between having a single life and having a family. I’m a provider, nurturer, and disciplinarian. Carrying out each of these roles—often simultaneously—seems overwhelming at times.
- When You’re feeling Overwhelmed the Lord says:
“But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.” Isaiah 40:31 - When You’re Tired:
“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 - When You Feel Alone:
“The mountains and hills may crumble, but my love for you will never end; I will keep forever my promise of peace.’ So says the Lord who loves you.” Isaiah 54:10 - When You’re Worried about Money:
“And with all his abundant wealth through Christ Jesus, my God will supply all your needs.” Philippians 4:19 - When You Need Wisdom:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Whether you are divorced or separated and the custodial parent*, or whether you are a widower, the challenges are very similar.
As a single dad, I realized early that my daughter and I were not as close as I thought. With the passing of her mother, I suddenly realized that there are things that I won’t be able to relate to because I am a man. Many men tend to take an “I Must Fix It” mentality in their lives and their relationships. We will listen long enough to identify the problem, and then we are off on to the solution. Our daughters usually don’t want us to fix their issues, they would rather we listen and try understanding them. Don’t go at it alone. Seek out a female mentor that can pour into your daughter’s life. For some dads, a grandmother, aunt, or other family member can take that role. Finding a strong and capable female role model is critical to your daughter’s success in growing up.
Keeping the lines of communication open requires time, patience, and a willingness to make it a priority.
- Teach them to be problem solvers.
- Don’t rescue or over-protect them.
- If you overprotect, your daughter will either rebel or become dependent, and neither of those outcomes is a positive.
- Take interest in what interests them … like shopping!
Single dads, I know it can be overwhelming to raise children alone, especially a daughter, but it can be done. And if you are sensitive to your daughter and invest the time into your relationship, you’ll find immense satisfaction in raising a great daughter. I thank God for the amazing children he has entrusted me with.
– Pastor Mark Russell
