Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.
– Ephesians 4:23
I was outside with the family, roasting marshmallows by the fire, and making those very yummy s’mores. That’s when I saw it – a tick crawling up my arm! I flicked it in the fire and didn’t think much of it. But then Tanner found one on him. And Maraya found one on her. Yuck! Our fun by the fire ended early because of a small, almost undetected pest.
Over the years I’ve noticed something: marriages that started out fun, then somehow the fun and the fire ended early. Why? Often because of something small and almost undetected, at first anyway – the people’s thoughts and attitudes. When two people get married, they both bring a certain amount of unseen baggage. They both bring thought patterns and attitudes that have been shaped throughout their lives. All that is fine and wonderful until somebody’s buttons get pushed and then what was there all along comes out—a way of thinking or an attitude—and it’s not always a pleasant one.
If you want to get off the crazy train in your marriage, here’s a great place to start: take responsibility for your buttons! The fact is that you can’t control what happens to you, but you are in control of how you respond. Think about it, if you are in an argument and the phone rings, you stop the yelling for a moment and you answer the phone with a pleasant voice. How can you do that? Because you are in control of how you respond! You don’t get to choose what other people do, but you do get to choose what you do.
What is it that seems to push your buttons? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see what the real issues are behind the issues that frustrate you the most. Ask the Holy Spirit to renew your thoughts and attitudes to reflect Him! I’ve found that the buttons people have come from two main sources.
- Hurts – How have you been hurt? Maybe some of you are like me; I didn’t think I had any hurts… but I did. The Holy Spirit helped me and healed me so I could do what is best to do with hurts from the past – leave them there.
- Ungodly beliefs – Beliefs that do not line up with the Word of God. Your belief system writes grooves in your brain and guides your heart and your actions. This is why we need the Holy Spirit to renew our thoughts and attitudes. Do you have any ungodly beliefs? Start the conversation with your spouse and talk about them.
I pray for you, my friend. May you determine today to work more on yourself than you do your marriage. May the Holy Spirit help you today by renewing your thoughts and attitudes. Yes, may this unseen area of your life be made new by the power of the Holy Spirit.
