25 Keys to a Joyful and Lasting Marriage

(in no particular order)

One of the keys to our marriage has always been to realize that we’re not experts and that our way may not be best for others. In fact, over the years, we’ve been asked to do “Marriage Retreats” and other types of events, and I’ve replied (with a smirk), “one of the secrets to our marriage is not speaking at marriage retreats!” So, this list is not comprehensive or authoritative, rather, just a quick, random, spontaneous list from Netta and me as we sat together in Florida celebrating 25 years of marriage… Enjoy!

Smile every day—often!
Talk (and listen) to God before you talk to each other.
Buy good toilet paper, and roll it over-the-top.
Fight for your ‘sabbath day’—and make it count.
The last one out of bed makes the bed.
Say ‘I love you’ as often as you can! Also, compliment each other. Use lots of eye-contact.
Don’t discuss important things when you’re overly emotional (angry, sad, depressed, etc).
Laugh … A LOT!
Don’t compare or compete with each other—revel in your uniqueness!
Honor one another. Never tease or embarrass the other beyond what’s kind.
Live translucent not transparent. Yes, allow others to see inside but not every detail.
Live amenable (even better than accountable).
Follow God’s dreams rather than expecting Him to follow yours.
Make love not war. (And everyone just went, “Oooooo!”)
Discipline in unity—be on the same team.
Be present (alert and responsive) not just around.
Take time away from ‘everything’ together, and at times alone.
Make sure God remains head of the home and marriage.
Don’t make your spouse your only friend—do different things with different people.
Live above reproach (opposite sex, computers, free time, interests, etc).
In disagreements or decisions, avoid words like ‘always’ and ‘never.’
Communicate LOVE the way your spouse needs it, not the way you want it.
Raise your children as individuals—no two are the same. Enjoy their uniqueness!
Seek wisdom from those who have lived it—not just from peers, blogs, and books.
Don’t think you’re an expert … EVER. Avoid writing lists for the first 25 years!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little random list. I’m confident that we left out some essential things that may have made you think, “what about this?” — we’re just happy that it’s got you thinking, laughing, and reading. We’re SO THANKFUL for our marriage!

Life, marriage, and family are all wonderful ADVENTURES, not just tedious chores or mindless routines! Your path is planned by God and is filled with unexpected blessings and opportunities. IF you avoid the ordinary, you’ll live the extraordinary! This is our prayer for our lives and YOURS!

God is NEVER done with us. We need to always be improving, changing and LOVING! His grace, wisdom, and amazing kindness have allowed us to be surrounded by our five wonderful children (Mariah Lyn-24, Courtney Ann-21, Zoe Love-16, Maximus Aslan-12, and Chase Truth-10). What a joy! What an ADVENTURE!