My life was radically changed when I became a Christian. My marriage was transformed, as well. My wife and I began what has become the most meaningful relationship of our lives.

It didn’t begin that way, however. Our first year was the worst. Filled with false hopes about what we could expect from each other, the marriage hit the rocks. If Barb hadn’t decided to stick it out, we would never have reached our first anniversary.

The next few years were not much better. I was into doing ‘my own thing’ and had little regard for Barb’s interests—an attitude unsuitable for a healthy marriage. Then came the change, and it was big.

One of the first things we did was re-state our wedding vows. When we were married in 1971, we never made a commitment to each other. We simply made up our own non-vows, leaving the door open in case it didn’t work. This time, however, we promised: “To have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish and to obey, till death do us part.”

Now, 45 years later, our experience is quite different.

We worship together. Frankly, I cannot understand how other couples survive without having a relationship with God. Many don’t. Praying, reading the Bible, and attending church together have literally made our marriage what it is today. Without doing these together, we would be lost.

We’re best friends. We enjoy being together. We share our joys and sorrows, our deepest thoughts and fears. As we unite to face our problems (and we do have problems), we grow closer. We’re complete.

God told Adam that it’s not good for man to be alone. He was right. I get lonely when I am away from Barb. Events are not as much fun. Life is not the same without her. Something is missing when we’re not. We were intended to be together.

We’re secure. We trust each other. We don’t worry about one of us running off with another man or woman. We know who will pick us up when we fall down. There’s great assurance in that.

We’re strong. Though one of us may be overpowered at times, two of us can stand the most difficult of circumstances. Together we are much stronger than by ourselves.

We’re satisfied. One night lying in bed, Barb told me that if she were to die that night she would be fulfilled. I feel the same way; I couldn’t ask for more in a wife. We try very hard to make sure the other person is happy. That’s what marriage is all about.

We’re in love. Not love in the Hollywood sense of the word, but in the biblical sense. Unconditional. Unselfish. Love that is action-oriented, focused on the other person, expressed in giving.

Barb and I marvel at what God has done. He took two completely different people, brought them together, invaded their hearts, and began to build a relationship representative of Jesus and His Church. Totally awesome.

God is faithful to the covenant of marriage and to those who seek to keep it. If you are married and believe in heaven, you need not die to experience it. You simply need to make the commitment to love your spouse God’s way. You will discover the divine institution of marriage to be among the greatest blessings of the human experience, “as the days of heaven upon the earth” (Deuteronomy 11:21).

We could all use some of those.

Terry Hart