“That in all things He may have the preeminence.”
–Colossians 1:18

The key to any successful relationship is what’s at the core. If the core of your relationship is based on good looks, a common interest, or even attending the same church, those friendships and marriages are on shaky ground. The one sure-fire ingredient for a meaningful and lasting relationship is having Christ at its center.

My wife, Barbara, and I have a wonderful marriage, going on 46 years now. It wasn’t always like this, however. The first three years were rough to say the least. I was a self-centered introvert, depressed most days, while Barb was the happy-go-lucky, just-put-a-smile-on-your-face type. Needless to say, it wasn’t working. In fact, less than a year into our marriage, she seriously considered leaving me. Thankfully, she had a confidante who advised her to stick it out. Then it got worse!

Because God was working in my life, I was groping along, looking for answers—in all the wrong places. I dove headlong into eastern religion and left Barb in the dust of meditation, a strict diet, and ‘restrained’ marital relations.

It was Christ who reunited us in the fall of 1974, when we both accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Since then we have made it our aim to put God first and each other second.

I love Barb. Sure, she’s a beautiful person inside and out. But the real reason I love her is because I value my relationship with God, and He tells me to love my wife as Christ loves the Church. In addition, I’m told that if I mistreat her in any way, my prayers are, well, “hindered.”

In the same way, Barb loves me. Not because I’m such a cool guy, but because she loves the Lord, and the Lord commands her to honor and submit to me.

What makes our marriage great is we both put our relationship with God above our relationship with each other. It is because of the Lord that we love and treat each other the way we do.

The same principle applies to all other relationships: parents, children, brothers and sisters in Christ, even non-family. If Jesus has first place in our hearts, then we love because He first loved us. We understand that if we say we love God, whom we can’t see, but fail to love those whom we can see, we’re missing the boat. The truth is if we call ourselves Christians, then Jesus must have the preeminence. If He comes first, it follows we must do what He says.

So, I love my wife, my family, and my friends because of, and out from, my relationship with Jesus Christ. Because He is at the core, the relationships I have both inside and outside of the church are “healthy, growing, and full of love” (Ephesians 4:16).

– Terry Hart